Struggling to know what colour to paint your bathroom, let alone what to do about your next career move?
You aren't alone. The number one problem I hear from my clients is that they feel frustrated and stuck, overthinking their decisions and procrastinating to the point of doing nothing.
This cycle is hard to break. We feel gripped by a sense of fear; perhaps that we will fail if we try to change things, perhaps concerned about what other people will think of our decision to change career after having kids, start a yoga teaching training course or launch an online eco products business.
We are consumed by the logic of the thing. Practically speaking you ask yourself 'how can we afford for me to do this?", "how much more time is this going to take up?", "what if this impacts my kids and my partner negatively?" and we allow ourselves to be held back by what our brain thinks is the problem.
But the practicalities are not the problem. The problem is that you are acting from the outside in, rather than the inside out. You are allowing the external forces and factors to lead your decision making process and not listening to that inner intuition that knows you best.
So how can you stop this cycle of self-sabotage and negative inner critic dialogue? How can you put aside the daily grind and tune in to what matters most to you?
Because that's the nub of the issue here my friend. A huge part of you wants to be bold, move forward and take action to live a life that is more joyful and intentional.
But a small, yet sneaky and controlling part of you wants to keep you firmly in the safety zone. It feels comfortable to stay put, even if it doesn't feel uplifting, motivating or empowering.
If you struggle to make small decisions like what nail colour to pick, what to eat for dinner or where to go on holiday (ahhhh holidays, remember them?!) then can how can you be expected to make the big whoppers like asking for a pay-rise, setting new boundaries on your relationship or investing in something like coaching or personal training to give you a well deserved boost?
The answer lies in understanding what matters most to you. When you know that you can act from a place of inner wisdom and grounding, making your decisions easier and your procrastination less.
What can you do to make the decisions in your life easier? Use this simple values exercise to help transform the way you make decisions.
Understanding your values; the attributes, actions and behaviours that are vital to you, makes decisions easier.
What are values? They are the things that make you feel the most. If something is your value then seeing it in your life brings you joy. If something is anti your values then bringing it into your life brings you discomfort, anger, sadness and more.
Does what you do align with your values? Read on to find out.
Choose 3-5 values that most matter to you and stick them somewhere you can see them. Not sure how to choose or where to begin? Keep reading!
Use this list (via www.brenebrown.com) to complete to following values exercise:
1. Read the list
2. Note 20 words that stand out to you; go with your gut
3. Group these into similar (i.e knowledge, learning, personal fulfillment)
4. Pick one from each group that most resonates with you
5. Continue until you have 3-5 that are core values
6. Stick the list somewhere visible
7. Journal and reflect on when these values have shown up for you in the past
8. Notice going forward when these values have been compromised - how did you feel?
9. Consider you difficult decision and ask yourself this...
10. Does this decision align with my values? What is the impact on my life if not?
I'd love to know how you get on! Pop me a message on Instagram to tell me your 5 values.
Mine are on my website and form the basis of all that I do at That Balanced Life Coaching and at home. They are:
And remember, values are just a part of understanding what matters most you. To go further book a free call with me to start you deeper journey today.