I know, I know, Neil Armstrong already said something very similar back in 1969. Well, half a century on and he's still bloody right.
There's a big horrible myth out there that you have to take a flying leap at something new. That suddenly you wake up one morning and think, "yep, today's the day I'm jacking it all in and going to make ceramic vases in the Outer Hebrides. See you later responsibilities, I'm outta here"
Not happening right? As busy working mums with shit.to.do. we can't just up and leap into the unknown without even a hint of planning.
So what does it take to get you from thinking 'ooh, I wish I could start my own business/ go back to work after having kids/ host a yoga retreat/ start a cake making side-hustle/ ask for that promotion' to actually doing the damn thing?
And what about all that in between stuff that gets in the way? The worry that this big decision will set you on the wrong path, even if the path you are on now ain't so smooth and shiny. The worry that if it goes wrong people will think you were a bit stupid to have tried. Or the worry that by making a change you'll have to invest money you don't yet have in something you don't yet believe in.
Ever stood outside a beautiful home interiors shop and just stared at the stuff? And thought, that's so nice. But I can't afford that. Or, my house isn't nice enough for that. Or, it'll just get broken so what's the point?
Making a big decision can feel like that. You can see others around you going for it, seemingly super successful, happy and thrilled to have stepped off the ladder into the balmy waters of their new thing. It looks lovely but deep down you think 'that's not for me.'
BUT WHY ISN'T IT FOR YOU MY FRIEND?
Because society has drummed into you that as a mother your value is in your ability to raise your kids. To keep the house tidy (LOL). To work, but not too much. To be 'your own woman', but not at the cost of rocking the boat. To have ambition, but for your family, not for you.
So, when you get the itch that won't be scratched and you just know that something needs to change, you don't allow yourself the time to even explore it because you feel..... guilty. You can read more about sneaky mum guilt here, but in a nutshell, guilt stops you from making change and makes you believe that you are not worthy or deserving of something new and exciting.
You have also been conditioned to think that change and success happen overnight in a KAPOW fashion.
How to make small steps in order to make a big change.
I was chatting to the lovely Karen from Goodness Marketing on my IGTV and we discussed this very thing.
When you want to make a big decision, take it one step at a time. It sounds blardy obvious right? But sometimes the obvious becomes obscured when we are bombarded not only with information from the Outside, but also when our internal chitter chatter is telling us that we need to immediately be successful or else we are a failure.
But failure is not the opposite of success. The opposite of successful is unsuccessful and that is something that can be rectified. Your perfectionist tendencies might not like it, but not being successful at something first time just means there's an opportunity for growth and another go.
So, one step at a time, one bite of the elephant, slowly, slowly. Learning from mistakes, being open to possibilities, saying yes to things outside your comfort zone and being firm on what you say no to. Want more?
Here's 5 tips to get you on your way to making a big decision, even if you can't decide what colour to paint your downstairs loo
Start by noticing. Notice what you feel and how you react to situations. Especially situations that make you feel strongly in either direction. Reflect on those feelings and start to look for patterns. Nothing changes until you notice it.
Try something. Test the waters with your idea or plan; is there a local market you could set up shop at for a morning to see if your brownies sell, or a wellbeing workshop at work that you could be a part of? Remember failure is not the opposite of success.
Stop telling yourself that want you want to do is something 'other people do'. You can be that person. That person was once you. We are all capable of doing the thing our heart needs.
Remind yourself that you don't have to know exactly how to do something before trying. I get that that is hard to believe, especially if you are a perfectionist, but I promise you that you know more than you think.
Allow the thought in - you deserve this, you are worthy of this, you have earned this.
If all this thinking is getting you fired up and you want to take a teeny, tiny, bigger step then shimmy your finger down to the button below and book a chat with me to explore the next step on the big decision journey.